Licence to Kill 'Better Than I Remember' Shocker!

I remember it as one of the worst Bond movies and starring arguably the worst Bond, but Licence to Kill is actually a great 80's action movie and worthy of its place in the ActionClub pantheon.

High points of the movie include:

The chastising of Talisa Soto by Robert Davi with what appears to be (but probably isn't) a rubber lizard.

A bar fight worthy of a Burt Reynolds movie where some bad-guy goon tries to impale our hero with a stuffed swordfish.

The truck-end of an articulated lorry pulling a wheelie to drive through the flaming twisted remains of other trucks.

Robert Davi killing a lesser cohort using the pressure chamber aboard his boat until his balloon head goes pop-splatter!

If this wasn't a Bond movie, it would have been much easier to accept the overall 80's crapness of it, but looking at it in hindsight, and without too much of a bias towards the top end of the Bond quality scale, it's a very entertaining movie with good deaths, adequate post-mortem one-liners, and satisfying come-uppance for the bad guys.

ActionClub Tonight

In an increasingly sporadic series of get-togethers, tonight, ActionClub will be getting together to witness one of the worst Bond films ever made in the shape of Licence To Kill. It's from the 80's, it's topical (due to the next Bond movie being released in a weeks time) and has a wedding at the start (relevent to several AC members who have either got married recently, or plan to in the near future - congratulations to them).

With a near legendary dream-team of a cast of Talisa Soto, Carey Lowell, Timothy 'Tim' Dalton and legendary bad-guy/stupid chief, Robert Davi, I just hope to God it's worth it.

Rambo 1-4 Box Set

Out on 23rd June, along with the release of the standard John Rambo DVD, is this Rambo 1-4: Special Edition Box Set. Get it from Play.com for £22.99 on Monday.

Wesley Snipes Jailed

Something is afoot here. I'm thinking he's either been framed by Mr Big, screwed over by the Stupid Chief (who's on the payroll of Mr Big) or has gone undercover to infiltrate a drug dealing terrorist group. There's no other explpenation. I mean, for God's sake, tax evasion - how weak is that. If he was actually gonna go to jail for something, it would be for killing someone in self defence or genocide. Tax evasion is just not Action Hero style.

Ruthless Reviews - Never Disappoints

Following my own, pathetic attempt at a review of the new Rambo movie, I went to see if the consistently awesome Ruthless Reviews had posted one yet. How naiive of me. Of course they have. And it's better than mine.

Curse them. Damn you Matt Cale.

Rambo

Forget the last two Rambo sequels, the latest installment in the John Rambo story is definitely the best since the original and sees the onetime Vietnam war hero turned unwanted drifter living in the jungle near the border to Borneo, working as a river boat pilot who supplements his income catching snakes for a tourist show.

Enter stage left, a group of people working for a christian mission who want to offer spiritual and medical support to the Karen tribespeople who are victims of genocide in Borneo.

When Michael, the head of the mission (none other than 24's Ryan Chappelle (Paul Schultze) - the token 'Stupid Chief' character - approaches the suitably recalcitrant Rambo to take them into Borneo. Rambo dismisses his request immediately. Fortunately for him (and us), there is a pretty blonde missionary in the shape of Julie Benz to offer a more heartfelt plea in an attempt to convince our hero to take the trip. Next scene, they're on the boat. Rambo gets suckered by a blonde fluttering her eyelashes, the sap.

Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong and a team of mercenaries worthy of any 80's action extravaganza get hired (including a brilliantly hilarious, if horribly unprofessional, cockney ex-SAS man, Lewis (Graham McTavish), studious future-sidekick, 'Schoolboy' (Matthew Marsden), and a couple of others). Rambo pulls out the bow and arrow, and much bloodshed ensues, including a bad-guy goon driver getting the good new from the .50 calibre machine gun mounted in the back of his jeep. From Rambo, of course. At point blank range. He disintegrates and his arm falls on the floor. Hilarious.

The jeep mounted 50 cal massacre goes on for about 15 minutes. Some others join in, but that is not important. Rambo + huge machine gun FTW.

The result of all this is a hugely enjoyable blood-fest held together by the barest of bare minimum of plots. A hint at a potential love interest for Sly, but fortunately for us, Rambo loves war more than chicks. Result: I want more Rambo movies. This one is brilliant.