The Expendables: A Call to Arms

Machete Trailer

This could give The Expendables a run for it's money this summer.

MACHETE: Trailer. Watch more top selected videos about: Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal

The greatest action movie ever?

Co-written and directed by, and starring Sylvester Stallone, and featuring Jason Statham, Jet Li, Eric Roberts, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny Trejo, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Micky Rourke, Charisma Carpenter and the late Brittany Murphy, The Expendables can't possibly be anything short or pant-shittingly awesome. Even the mighty neck of Sly Stallone was overwhelmed with the full-on action awesomeness of this movie, having to have emergency surgery and a plate put in after breaking his neck whilst filming. Bad. Ass. Don't believe me? Just look at the poster and the trailer. Awesome.

The A-Team Movie Trailer

Licence to Kill 'Better Than I Remember' Shocker!

I remember it as one of the worst Bond movies and starring arguably the worst Bond, but Licence to Kill is actually a great 80's action movie and worthy of its place in the ActionClub pantheon.

High points of the movie include:

The chastising of Talisa Soto by Robert Davi with what appears to be (but probably isn't) a rubber lizard.

A bar fight worthy of a Burt Reynolds movie where some bad-guy goon tries to impale our hero with a stuffed swordfish.

The truck-end of an articulated lorry pulling a wheelie to drive through the flaming twisted remains of other trucks.

Robert Davi killing a lesser cohort using the pressure chamber aboard his boat until his balloon head goes pop-splatter!

If this wasn't a Bond movie, it would have been much easier to accept the overall 80's crapness of it, but looking at it in hindsight, and without too much of a bias towards the top end of the Bond quality scale, it's a very entertaining movie with good deaths, adequate post-mortem one-liners, and satisfying come-uppance for the bad guys.

ActionClub Tonight

In an increasingly sporadic series of get-togethers, tonight, ActionClub will be getting together to witness one of the worst Bond films ever made in the shape of Licence To Kill. It's from the 80's, it's topical (due to the next Bond movie being released in a weeks time) and has a wedding at the start (relevent to several AC members who have either got married recently, or plan to in the near future - congratulations to them).

With a near legendary dream-team of a cast of Talisa Soto, Carey Lowell, Timothy 'Tim' Dalton and legendary bad-guy/stupid chief, Robert Davi, I just hope to God it's worth it.

Rambo 1-4 Box Set

Out on 23rd June, along with the release of the standard John Rambo DVD, is this Rambo 1-4: Special Edition Box Set. Get it from Play.com for £22.99 on Monday.

Wesley Snipes Jailed

Something is afoot here. I'm thinking he's either been framed by Mr Big, screwed over by the Stupid Chief (who's on the payroll of Mr Big) or has gone undercover to infiltrate a drug dealing terrorist group. There's no other explpenation. I mean, for God's sake, tax evasion - how weak is that. If he was actually gonna go to jail for something, it would be for killing someone in self defence or genocide. Tax evasion is just not Action Hero style.

Ruthless Reviews - Never Disappoints

Following my own, pathetic attempt at a review of the new Rambo movie, I went to see if the consistently awesome Ruthless Reviews had posted one yet. How naiive of me. Of course they have. And it's better than mine.

Curse them. Damn you Matt Cale.

Rambo

Forget the last two Rambo sequels, the latest installment in the John Rambo story is definitely the best since the original and sees the onetime Vietnam war hero turned unwanted drifter living in the jungle near the border to Borneo, working as a river boat pilot who supplements his income catching snakes for a tourist show.

Enter stage left, a group of people working for a christian mission who want to offer spiritual and medical support to the Karen tribespeople who are victims of genocide in Borneo.

When Michael, the head of the mission (none other than 24's Ryan Chappelle (Paul Schultze) - the token 'Stupid Chief' character - approaches the suitably recalcitrant Rambo to take them into Borneo. Rambo dismisses his request immediately. Fortunately for him (and us), there is a pretty blonde missionary in the shape of Julie Benz to offer a more heartfelt plea in an attempt to convince our hero to take the trip. Next scene, they're on the boat. Rambo gets suckered by a blonde fluttering her eyelashes, the sap.

Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong and a team of mercenaries worthy of any 80's action extravaganza get hired (including a brilliantly hilarious, if horribly unprofessional, cockney ex-SAS man, Lewis (Graham McTavish), studious future-sidekick, 'Schoolboy' (Matthew Marsden), and a couple of others). Rambo pulls out the bow and arrow, and much bloodshed ensues, including a bad-guy goon driver getting the good new from the .50 calibre machine gun mounted in the back of his jeep. From Rambo, of course. At point blank range. He disintegrates and his arm falls on the floor. Hilarious.

The jeep mounted 50 cal massacre goes on for about 15 minutes. Some others join in, but that is not important. Rambo + huge machine gun FTW.

The result of all this is a hugely enjoyable blood-fest held together by the barest of bare minimum of plots. A hint at a potential love interest for Sly, but fortunately for us, Rambo loves war more than chicks. Result: I want more Rambo movies. This one is brilliant.

Knight Rides Again

Coming to a TV near you sometime in the new year (February 2008 if you live in the US) is a nearly all new Knight Rider.

Justin Bruening plays Mike Tracer (cool name !!!), an Iraq war veteran and son of Michael Knight (can you see where this is going ?), according to IMDB:

Mike Tracer a bitter former Army Ranger and failed race car driver, just got a new lease on life, neither he cares for or wants this chance to make up for his past failings. FLAG* wants a new driver, but he is hesitant to join this mysterious group and doubts this super car or he can make a difference. He's got problems, he's in debt and people want to kill him. The choice is all too obvious for him and the Knight Industries Three Thousand (K.I.T.T).

*Foundation for Law And Government

That's right, he's one of the forgotten, down on his luck, but willing to do what it takes to make a difference. All he needs is one lucky break...

Having read this, as well as the mention on IMDB that The Hoff is also in negotiations, I was getting that warm feeling in my trousers, then I saw the car (a supercharged Mustang GT), initially here, here and here (cheers Nik), then after some digging, here too.

Wow. I wonder if there'll be an evil KARR version too ? Can't wait for this, I bet it'll be spectacularly rubbish.

Above The Law

Let me set the scene for you. Having been to a pub in Nottingham to witness yet another crushing disappointment in the arena of British sport, namely, being knocked out of the European football championships by a bunch of guys who would normally be on the receiving end of an action hero's roundhouse. Having had a couple of pints, my girlfriend and I made the walk of shame back home, only to have my spirits lifted by the mighty might of Above The Law, not only starring, but also co-written by Seagal himself.

In this ass-kicking display of bad guy bone crunching, Seagal wades through a swathe of bad guys in an attempt to right some plot-relevent wrong (something to do with drugs and explosives and something that happened in Vietnam - I missed the beginning, which made little difference), kicking ass and taking names all the way. Bringing together Hollywood royalty past (Pam Grier), present (Seagal himself) and future (Sharon Stone, in a supporting role as Nico's wife) and snapping the neck of one of the all-time great bad guys, Henry Silva as the awesomely named 'Kurt Zagon', the tagline probably says it all; 'He was a covert agent trained in Vietnam. He has a master 6th degree black belt in Aikido... and family in the Mafia. He's a cop with an attitude.'.

If you missed this on Channel Five last night, you missed a treat. Still, you can pick it up on DVD from Play for about a £11.99, and you should.

Raddest Movie Ever has Fansite

Why are there no good fan sites for seminal 80's action movies I hear you ask ? There are, I reply, there is this one, ActionClub, and there is also CommandoFans.com, the latter being brough to my attention by the ever-vigilant ActionWillis.

Just beware though, if you visit it, you may be persuaded to 'stick around'.

30 Days of NIght (Part 2)

A pointy teethed, frosty splatterfest, 30 Days of Night is a decent vampire movie with a great ending. I saw this at the weekend and really enjoyed it. It has style and flow and characters that you really want to survive. Good vampires, if a bit gothy and overacted, there's a high level of splattery death for a 15 certificate movie, or that may just be me getting old, with one or two shocks but nothing over the top. It was a choice of this or Resident Evil: Extinction, and this won the toss, which I'm quite pleased about. Still like to see RE:E though.

30 Days of Night

It's 'Lost Boys' meets 'The Thing'. Another graphic novel gets the big screen treatment, this time under the direction of newcomer David Slade, and starring Josh Hartnett and Melissa George. Vampires, who like the dark (apparently) have a field day in the arctic circle during the long period of winter darkness (30 days, or thereabouts) when the sun doesn't rise.

Much vampy biting action and screaming will inevitably ensue as the residents face an unenviable fight for survival against a bunch of pointy toothed goths in wooly jumpers (probably). Looks like it might be fun all the same, especially with the legend that is Sam Raimi on board as producer. Check out the official website. Here's the trailer...

Cloverfield ?

There are some great movies on the way, none moreso than this offering from the production office of the near-godlike JJ Abrams. Much speculation surrounds the content of this film, whether it's another Godzilla movie, a story based in the world and mythos of HP Lovecraft or a Voltron episode. The Teaser Trailer was shown at theatres with the Transformers movie and is supposed to have a January 2008 release date.

If you haven't seen the trailer, check it out here and find more information on Wikipedia, on the Empire website and also on IMDB where it's still listed as an 'Untitled J.J. Abrams Project'.

Die Hard 4.0 Out on DVD

Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard was released on DVD yesterday. Have you bought your copy yet?

Chuck Norris Action Jeans

Have you ever had problems with pinching or binding in the crotch area when performing double roundhouse kicks on Mr Big's goons whilst trying to rescue the President's daughter ? Chuck Norris used to, but not any more, not now that he has his signature ActionJeans in his kung fu armoury. Developed by the Chuckster himself, 'they have a unique hidden gussett which allows greater movement without binding or ripping', handy when leaping from fast moving trucks.

Guns of The Matrix

I like guns. I also like action movies. Imagine my surprise (clue: there was very little of it) when I found not one, but two websites with masses of information about the guns used in The Matrix movies. Clickage below.

Guns of The Matrix on the awesome Internet Movie Firearms Database

Guns of The Matrix on madogre.com

Enjoy.

Die Hard 4.0: Action Overload

It's incessant, relentless and certainly action packed, it's the fourth installment of the Die Hard series, it's Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard.

The most action you can have in two hours and ten minutes is at the cinema now. It makes most of Michael Bay's movies look like Amelie (see Transformers comment below) and there isn't a dirty vest in sight. Bruce Willis resumes the role of John Mclane, now a senior NYPD detective who gets called in to pick up a hacker suspected by the FBI of being at the end of a 'denial of service' attack on the US Governments cyber-security department. Waiting for him is an array of Euro-goons armed to the teeth with state of the art German small arms and another bad day ensues.

Possibly the best, if far from the most realistic ('This is ActionClub, not PhysicsClub' - Mike Willis) episode in the painful life of Mclane, it features unrealistic fight scenes and IT technology but is a crazy rollercoaster ride of fight scenes, vehicle chases, explosions, outrageous deaths and cool one-liners.

Deadwood's Timothy Olyphant plays the bad guy superhacker with a grudge against the Government and Maggie Q plays his kick-ass ninja girlfriend/head goon, both deliver great performances, despite Olyphant not talking through clenched teeth enough (watch Deadwood if you don't know what I mean).

An honourable mention should go here to the cameo appearance by Kevin Smith as hacker supremo and king of the nerds, 'Warlock'. I guess there must have been a meeting somewhere where the casting director asked 'who is the biggest nerdboy in Hollywood, we need a believable supergeek for this movie' and Kevin Smith was the answer.

I haven't seen the Transformers movie yet, and so I can't say for definite that this is the actionest film of the year, but I can definitely say that it will be in the top two.

File under 'A' for Action. A definite Yippee Kay Ay for DH4.0:LFODH.