Nobody Leaves Swayze in the Corner

That's right folks, it's ActionClub time again. Tonights main feature will be the bar fight Swayze-a-thon, Road House. In this Rowdy Herrington classic, Patrick Swayze plays troubleshooter James Dalton who is called in to clean up the rough 'Double Deuce Club'. Love interest comes in the shape of Kelly Lynch (who never really looked as hot as she did in Gus Van Sant's Drugstore Cowboy) who plays the local Doctor. Needless to say, the examinations get out of hand and they inevitably get it on.

Extra help is brought in by Dalton half way through the film, that help is all eyebrows and moustache, held loosely together by Wade Garrett (Sam Elliott). Without giving too much away, it all gets out of hand, there's a few big bar fights, some inspiring tragedy, probably a training montage featuring a topless, oiled up Paddy Swizzle (see image), soft rock original soundtrack (featuring the blindingly obvious cover of The Doors 'Roadhouse Blues' by The Jeff Healey Band as well as a couple of numbers by the Swayz-meister himself - one being the awesomely titled 'Raising Heaven (In Hell Tonight)') and eventually the bad guy gets what's coming to him. Haven't seen it for years so I'm a bit fuzzy about the details, nevertheless, it's an all action romp that is more than up to the ActionClub challenge.

It's his way or the highway.

3-times Seal Biehn Honoured

Having played a US Navy Seal no less than three times (Commander Anderson in The Rock, Lieutenant James Curran in Navy Seals and Lieutenant Hiram Coffey in The Abyss, ActionClub favourite Michael Biehn has been honoured by the Navy Seals themselves. Through the combined efforts of the United States Navy UDT/SEALs and Alicia Hinesley of the Official Michael Biehn Fan Club, Michael Biehn has been chosen to be the narrator for the UDT/SEAL Museum in Florida.

"Michael Biehn narrates a new film that will run continuously showing the history and evolution of the finest small company combat group in the world, the United States Navy SEALs. The film is still in production but is tentatively set for release in November of 2002."

Looks like it's an old report, but in the true nature of the US Navy Seals, they've kept it quiet, even from ActionClub until now (or maybe I only just found out about it). Read the full report on the Biehn Fan Club website here.

FU&D

Just in from ActionAlastair (only a part time member - he often frowns on mindless action) is this link to Steven Seagal dedicated website Fuck You and Die. The intro to the site explains it better than I ever could (plus I'm too lazy to type the site bio when it's there already)...

'Welcome to Fuck You and Die! This is a page dedicated to the toughest guy ever to kick ass both off and on the silver screen - Steven Seagal. It's not just that he breaks bones and kills people with such conviction, it's also that he does so as brutally as possible. Seagal hates who he's killing - and they're definitely going down. The title of this page is a quote from Hard to Kill where Steven Seagal makes his vindictive style painstakingly obvious: "This is for my wife. Fuck you and die!" Never have bad guys died such terrible deaths as when Seagal breaks their necks, snaps their backs, and cracks their skulls.'

The site seems fairly comprehensive, if totally out of date (the last 'News' entry being from May 2005). Definitely worth a look though.

Chuck Merchandise

ActionWillis (although should really be CrippleWillis) has just sent me an email to inform me about a new t-shirt from T-Shirts 365. The shirt, as seen to the left, bears the legend 'Don't FXXk With Chuck' and comes in a bundle of colours, which is just as well, because that green is hideous. Get the shirt and many more like it here.

You're either S.W.A.T. or you're not

This weekend gives us Channel 5's first showing of the born-too-late 80's action throwback that is S.W.A.T..

With the double-hard tagline, 'Even cops dial 911', it stars Colin Farrell, Samuel L Jackson (as the brilliantly named Sgt. Dan 'Hondo' Harrelson), Michelle Rodriguez and, as every film should, LL Cool J this film is to the LAPD what Top Gun was the US Navy aviation. A 117 minute long commercial for looking cool in black tactical gear and bad acting, S.W.A.T. is exactly what you'd expect from an 80's actioner, despite being made in 2003. Also includes the awesome line, uttered by Jackson when asked why he didn't roll during a tactical shooting competition; 'they only roll in John Woo films'. Miss this at your peril.

S.W.A.T. is on Channel 5, Sunday 15th October at 9pm.

Ruthless Reviews Look Out

There appears to be an ample competitor to the awesomeness of Ruthless Reviews. I've not read one of Something Awful's movie reviews before (I assume that there are more) but this one for Cobra rocks. Check it out.

New Bravo Show

Last night gave us the first showing of Bravo's new action show, 'The Unit', once again starring ActionClub favourite and '24' ex-president, Dennis Haysbert and also Terminator 2: Judgement Day star, Robert Patrick. In my opinion, a little too much plot, and too little action (I suppose there had to be some scene setting, it was the first episode), this show centres around a US Army special forces team based on Delta Force (or to give the unit its correct title, 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment-Delta (1st SFOD-D) and their wives, and is based on show producer Eric Haney's book, Inside Delta Force.

Dennis Haysbert plays Sergeant-Major Jonas Blane, with Patrick as his senior officer and unit commander Colonel Tom Ryan. Owing a lot to the success of 24, The Unit looks to be a promising dramatic action-adventure series. The first episode, as mentioned above was lacking explosions and only had two gunfights, nevertheless, it is an admirable start to what we can only hope to be an action packed new series. Fans of 24 or Tom Clancy will enjoy this as much as I did.

Check out the official US CBS 'The Unit' minisite or the UK Bravo minisite. The Unit is on Bravo at 10.00pm on Tuesday nights.

Tonight, for one night only at ActionClub...

Showing for one night only, tonight at the East Leake LZ (aka home of ActionMike&Kath) will be the mighty Sheen/Biehn Dream Team in the action-soaked Navy Seals.

Not strictly classed as 80's action as it was released in 1990, the hair, action and one-liners stink of the 80's. Plus it features Dennis Haysbert (24's President David Palmer) as Chief (although not a stupid chief in this case) and also the legend that is Bill Paxton as Seal sniper Dane, aka 'God'. His five foot long .50 cal Barrett M82 rifle later features in some close range combat. Boom !

Politically incorrect (referring to middle-easterners as 'rags') but with the best hair of any movie, anywhere, this film can accurately be described as awesome.

Ruthless Reviews Give SOAP Great Review

 Godlike website Ruthless Reviews have given Snakes on a Plane a great review:

Snakes on a Plane is, above all, the most critic-proof movie ever made. There isn’t a negative assessment that could hold, nor a flaw that would stick.

Read the full review here. While you're there, also read their reviews for Commando ('raddest movie ever made') and Predator by the legend that is Jonny Lieberman.

Hard to Kill Script

Amazing what you can find on the internet. Here is a link to a copy of the script to Steven Seagal classic, Hard to Kill. Awesome. 

Steven Seagal 'Orange Wednesday' Ad

I was just discussing this with ActionLes and wondered if it was available on YouTube. Silly me. Everything is available on YouTube. I just have to work out how to embed video in Blogger posts now. For now, you'll have to make do with the link.

More added

Getting there with converting the old AC site to its new Blogger home. Added the quote generator and a permalink to the mission statement to the bar on the right. Just need to work out how to add the music now. AC wouldn't be AC without the midi verision of Kenny Loggins 'Danger Zone' playing in the background.

In the mean time, enjoy the Danger Zone video.

Snakes On A Plane

It's got snakes, it's got a plane. There are snakes on the plane. It's about as simple as that. Samuel L Jackson plays FBI Agent Nelville Flynn. His job is to get a witness to the murder of a US prosecutor to LA to testify. The bad guys don't want this to happen, so they load a time capsule full of poisonous snakes and a box of Hawaiian garlands laced with snake hate-pheremone into the cargo bay. Not a bomb or a can of poisonous gas or a sniper in LA, but poisonous snakes. That's why bad guys never succeed in action movies. When the plan's in the air, the snakes are released and poison-spitting, hissing carnage ensues.

SOAP is an action movie in the vein of 70's disaster flics like The Towering Inferno, Airport or The Poseidon Adventure, only this time, there's snakes.

Ticking all the right boxes, there are one-liners, embarrassing deaths, nasty guys getting their come-uppance (throwing a cute girl's tiny dog to a Boa Constrictor does not enhance your survival chances in this sort of film), famous and ironic last words and bad guys coming good. A classic tale of trial over adversity. With snakes. On a plane.

Summer Break - New Look

ActionClub has taken a bit of a break over the summer but is back with a new look web presence in the shape of this blog. Easier to update than the old AC site and more 'feature-rich' for your pleasure. Hopefully, this will get updated more than the old one, and possibly, I'll be able to encourage a couple of new contributers from the AC crew.

Action Club Mission Statement

Action Club: Established 17th June 2005 by Mike Willis & David Chittock

Action club vows to never let the genre of 80's macho bullshit action movie die. To maintain an understanding and appreciation of the aforementioned genre, its creators and stars, soundtrack music and associated merchandise and paraphenalia, as long as we all shall live. Amen. God bless America. Fuck yeah !.

RULES OF ACTION CLUB

1. Action Club shall meet once a month, on the first Thursday to watch and discuss a classic 80's bullshit action movie.

2. All members of Action Club will supply an action movie fitting the criteria specified in the contents of this web page for the viewing of the other members of Action Club at least once per year.

3. To qualify for membership of Action Club, it is essential to be familiar with at least half of the movies on the right hand side of the main page, to be able to recognise and/or ad lib quotes from them.